Somebody Actually Employed Her. No, Really.

Things are looking up for Audrina Patridge and for once it’s not just her eyes. The brainless skank, who spent four seasons appearing as a speaking extra on MTV’s reality nightmare The Hills, has somehow found gainful employment in the fashion industry. Well, sort of. The talent-impaired bimbo has gone and scored herself another gig (there was one before this??) modelling swimwear for a company called Bongo. (No, me neither).

Anyway, according to sources over at Celebrity-Gossip, the ceiling-eyed one has already shot a set of scantily clad photos for the company in an attempt to drum up some business. Conveniently, it was also an opportunity for Audrina to showcase her talents for standing around half-naked and staring blankly at something off in the middle distance. Which was obviously a stretch for her, as I’m sure you can imagine.  

Walking Pile Of Human Garbage Named Father Of The Year.

Noted criminal scumbag and persistent media-whore Michael Lohan can add another title to his letterheads today - Father of the Year. Think I’m joking? According to RadarOnline, the Bible-bashing creep has been awarded the afore-mentioned honor by Pennsylvania-based magazine The Weekender. A mouthpiece for the publication has defended their decision to give Lohan the award by citing the controversial celebrity dad's  apparent efforts to defend his troubled daughter during her public struggle with drug and alcohol abuse. Quoth the imbecile: “[Lohan] has been wrongly persecuted by the media after he spoke-out about the need for his daughter to go to rehab.”

But Who'll Get The Implants?

Fake-titted slag Kate Price has chosen to file for divorce on what would have been the first anniversary of her sham wedding to intellectually challenged muscle-freak Alex Reid. According to reports, the dead-eyed tart is apparently keen to rekindle her relationship with ex-husband number one Peter Andre, with whom she has two children.

Andre might be a gurning Aussie simpleton, but I sincerely doubt he's stupid enough to go anywhere near this revolting slattern and her omnipotent pap-swarm ever again, at least not if he values his dignity. Mind you, he has vaginally penetrated the toxic bitch at least twice in his life, so perhaps dignity isn't a trait with which he is overly endowed.

On the other hand, it was brave of him to have consented to sexual relations with Katie Price in the first place, so I guess he deserves some kudos for having more courage than can be measured by mere mortals. He also deserves kudos for having an ostensibly lead-lined dick, so congratulations on that too, Pete.