Noted criminal scumbag and persistent media-whore Michael Lohan can add another title to his letterheads today - Father of the Year. Think I’m joking? According to RadarOnline, the Bible-bashing creep has been awarded the afore-mentioned honor by Pennsylvania-based magazine The Weekender. A mouthpiece for the publication has defended their decision to give Lohan the award by citing the controversial celebrity dad's apparent efforts to defend his troubled daughter during her public struggle with drug and alcohol abuse. Quoth the imbecile: “[Lohan] has been wrongly persecuted by the media after he spoke-out about the need for his daughter to go to rehab.”
Wrongly persecuted by the media? They jest, surely. Perhaps the good folk over at The Weekender need to be reminded of a few things:
1. Michael Lohan is a turd. Not a metaphorical one - a real one. An actual piece of steaming, corn-riddled giraffe excrement that has somehow attained cognisance and taken on human form.
2. The media have not been persecuting Michael Lohan. It's quite the contrary as a matter of fact. How so you ask? Well, since Lohan slithered out of prison a few years ago, hardly a day has passed without his revolting face appearing on some trashy tabloid or other shamelessly airing his own family's dirty laundry for the entire world to see. Fuck family unity, there’s money to be made!
3. Michael Lohan stooped as low as to befriend Jon Gosselin and hilariously suggested that he and Kevin Federline participate in a 'celebrity' boxing match, thereby extending his own fifteen minutes of fame and eating into at least ten minutes of Jon's and K-Fed's. These are the actions of a crafty and manipulative parasite, not a victim.
4. See point 1 above.
So there you have it, Weekender Magazine. Michael Lohan is a disloyal, manipulative user and a proven dead-beat. Still want to give him that award?
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