The first pictures have surfaced of Matthew McConaughey and
his baby-mama Camila Alves’ wedding, which took place in Texas
last Saturday. Naturally, the ceremony was a very sombre and private affair and was conducted with the utmost sanctity and respect for…aw, who the hell am
I kidding? The only reason these two whores got hitched was to cash-in on all
the dough that was doubtless offered for those exclusive wedding day pics. Alas, despite their
best efforts to appear otherwise, McConaughey and his ho are no less grasping
than every other celeb couple on Earth. Mind you, they did make a good fist at attempting
to hide their rampant venality, as evidenced by this little nugget spewed forth by Mr. McConaughey regarding his
recent nuptials:
It's a union between ourselves and God. A covenant for us, our children and the world.
How touching. And vaguely patronising. Faux-profundity
aside, I’m sure Mattie and his new missus will enjoy many years of happy and
scandal-free marri – I’m sorry; my fingers tried to complete that sentence but
the words “I just hope the doofus got an iron-clad pre-nup” kept pounding in my
brain. Oh well.
Also, Matthew McConaughey looks fucking ugly side-on.
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